


This one came from looking

by Nathamuel



Series: Outlast AUs [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Porn, Blood and Gore, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:26:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathamuel/pseuds/Nathamuel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're going to escape that hell-hole and they will live, no matter how damaged.<br/>~<br/>This story is open for requests.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ofthefox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofthefox/gifts).



> Title from "Made of Scars" by Stonesour

Slowly the body under Bucky's hands stopped its struggle. The hands clawing at his arms moved sluggishly and finally fell limply to the ground. Bucky's harsh breath and Howard's sobs were loud in the sudden quietness that followed.

With shaking hands Bucky stood and wiped the blood and sweat and dirt off on his pants, filthy after two days in the asylum, and turned to Howard who looked at him with bloodshot eyes, tears running down his face. His breath was hitching in his chest and broke on low whimpers he probably wasn't even aware he was making. He was clutching his mangled hands to his chest. Bucky didn't want to know how much they must hurt.

"Ok. Ok." Bucky muttered to himself and saw Howard squeeze his eyes shut. Blood kept dripping from his severed fingers, only the stumps of the ring finger on one and the middle finger on the other hand left behind.

"Sh, sh. Everything will be alright." Bucky knelt down in front of Howard and pulled him into his arms, trying to shove his own panic down and being careful not to touch the other man's hands. The last thing he remembered was going to sleep in his hotel room, the one right beside Howard's, and waking up here in this hell on earth. 

"Are you f-fucking kidding me? Nothing is 'alright' in this place." Howard choked out and made an aborted move to rub his wrists where the restraints had cut into the skin but one look at his fingers stopped him again. If he was lucky he wouldn't bleed to death. 

The pattern of his breath grew erratic again and he whimpered. Bucky quickly drew him forward by the back of his neck to hide his face in the bend of Bucky's shoulder.

"I promise I will get us out of here. We will find a way out of here." Bucky muttered against Howard's ear and then got to his feet, pulling Howard with him. He watched Howard stumble off to one of the blood tainted corners to retch when being vertical made his stomach disagree.

Thank god it was calm right now. Bucky could hear the screams of the insane outside the room. Most of them were restrained and no danger to them. They had to move soon, though. He had a vague plan of where they had to go. If the doctor hadn't gotten a drop on them, separating them and capturing Howard, they could have been out of here already.

Bucky approached Howard again and pulled him with him to the exit by a wrist, gingerly stepping over the doctor's corpse. One more madman dead. 

Outside a man was yanking on the restraints that kept him on the bed, screaming soundlessly. Bucky and Howard moved quickly past him and other inmates, both alive and dead, all of them mutilated and insane. Maybe if they got out of here they could call help for these poor souls.

Bucky and Howard circled around a corner and heard running steps coming closer. Quickly they moved into the next available room and squeezed themselves into one of the lockers. 

Bucky pressed a hand to Howard's mouth as he began to whimper again and leaned into him to hide the shaking of his own limbs. Howard was warm against his front, heart beating too quickly against Bucky's. 

The door to the room opened and two inmates with sticks entered and looked around, eyes passing unseeing over the lockers. Luck was on their side that their insanity had made them stupid and easy to lead astray. It made it none the more pleasant to be hunted, though. 

Quietly Bucky sighed when they left and he could pull Howard along with him through the corridor that was covered in blood. It was a miracle that there was anyone still alive here. Whatever happened here and whatever had made this insanity spread among the patients must have been bad. 

Howard and Bucky treaded carefully over dead bodies and what remained of them, dodging the inmates they could recognize by their heavy gait. Some walked quietly though and Bucky quickly pushed Howard into an office and huddled with him in a corner, holding his breath. 

A man with a baton in his hand passed the door without looking inside, a vacant look on his face. After another couple of minutes he had left and Bucky and Howard resumed their way. It seemed that now that the dear doctor was dead the inmates were even more uncoordinated.

They reached the elevator and used the key they had taken from the doctor's corpse to activate it, driving down to the first floor with Howard at his back, save between the wall and Bucky's own body. Absentmindedly Bucky squeezed Howard's wrist in reassurance and felt him rest his forehead on his shoulder. 

No one was waiting when they exited the elevator. The lobby was empty and the door was open. It looked like a trap. Outside Bucky could see the heavy military cars standing and he groped in his pockets for the key a dying agent had given him. Why had no one come for the dead military men? Why had no one come for them yet?

"Bucky?" Howard whispered behind him and Bucky looked at him, at his pale face and clammy skin and the way he was shaking on his feet. He needed a hospital. 

Bucky nodded to himself and they pressed themselves against the wall beside the door leading to the wide hall. When he glanced around the edge he could see no one. The room was deserted. Nothing moved and they crossed through it as fast as they could. 

The air was clean and fresh, a change from the stench of the asylum. Luck was on their side at last. 

They slammed the doors to the vehicle and Bucky turned the key in the ignition, giving a little cry of victory when the motor purred to life. The big gate was no match for the car and they drove away into the dawn.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They escaped, they're save. Now they just need to convince themself of it.

Bucky woke up and for a moment he felt like he was still in the asylum. Unconsciously his arms tightened around Howard, his heart sped up, before he became fully aware of the bed under him with its soft mattress, nothing they would have gotten there. A soft sigh escaped him and he relaxed slowly although his body was still shaking ever so lightly. The asylum was far away. No one was coming after them.

"Bucky?" Howard asked in a scared whisper and Bucky moved his hand over Howard's chest where it had rested, chancing a glance at the door that was still locked and so heavily reinforced that not even a bomb going off would put a scratch on it. The scanners beside the bed showed no movement anywhere on the property or in the house. 

Howard's bedroom resembled a panic room, now, changed after they had gotten home from the hospital.

Bucky kissed Howard's bare shoulder. Then he rested his mouth against the skin, breathing Howard in and savoring his clean scent, free of fear and pain. Slowly his heart rate slowed. There was nothing to fear here.

"Everything's ok. It was just a bad dream." Bucky mumbled and squeezed Howard in his arms, tucking his knees more securely behind his. Howard squirmed restlessly; his heart quickening and Bucky shushed him. These bouts of frights weren't unusual for them now, especially at night. The doctors, real ones, said that the paranoia resulted from a severe case of PTSD. There wouldn't be any more sleep for them tonight. 

Bucky stretched his arm out and turned up the light. Neither of them was still comfortable with the lights out. No, not at all. Light meant safety now. The shadows held the dangers and threats.

With a little huff Bucky settled back behind Howard and nuzzled his short hair. He roamed a hand lazily over his chest, over his nipples which hardened under his touch and down over the flat of his stomach, still a little too concave after he had stopped eating due to the trauma of losing his fingers. Howard hummed sleepily and laid his hand over Bucky's. The stump still felt unfamiliar against his fingers but Bucky interlaced their hands. They were a proof that Howard had survived.

Bucky rocked his groin against Howard's ass in silent question. If they weren't going to sleep they could do this. It would be a welcome distraction, because thinking of what happened would only heighten the fear that lingered.

Until morning they wouldn't leave this room. 

Howard pushed back into him and suppressed a gasp when Bucky slipped a hand into the front of his sleeping pants to wrap his fingers around his flaccid cock. Since their return it took a while to get him going but gently, lazily, Bucky teased him to hardness before pushing Howard's pants just far enough down to give Bucky easy access to Howard's ass and cock. 

When Howard turned his head Bucky kissed him, slipping his mouth over his and pushing his tongue between his lips while he pumped Howard's cock. Howard moaned and reached for his waist, pulling him closer and undulated his hips, rubbing his naked ass against Bucky's fabric clad cock. Bucky bit Howard's bottom lip in retaliation. 

Then Bucky reached down between them to free his own hardness and spit into his hand, slicking his cock before he slid his fingers over Howard's opening, making him press back. When he pushed one inside Howard moaned softly, biting his lip to quiet himself.

"Don't." Bucky whispered and rubbed the thumb of the arm trapped under Howard's body over the corner of Howard's mouth until he released the flesh. Carefully he fingered Howard open, swallowing the noises Howard made for him. Ever since the asylum Howard hated any kind of noises he made. He always had been silent in bed unless encouraged to be loud but now it had gotten worse.

When Howard pushed needily against him he pulled his fingers out and slowly pushed his slick cock through Howard's opening. Bucky heard Howard grit his teeth and put a hand on Howard's jaw, prying his teeth apart so he would hurt himself and let Howard pant open-mouthed against his palm, stifling his noises for him. 

"Relax." He whispered to Howard and glanced at the door, an unconscious move he often did now, making sure that it really was still closed, that no one was banging on it from the other side. When everything stayed calm he focused back on Howard, on how tight he was around his cock. He slid a hand under Howard's thigh and raised it, giving himself easier access and slipping a little farther into him. 

"Bucky." Howard whined and Bucky hummed before pulling back and pushing in again. In the past he would have loved to tease Howard, to talk to him and tell him just how good he felt around him, how glad he was to have him in his bed but it would keep him from hearing his surroundings. Instead he bit Howard's neck gently, sucking a mark into the skin and thrusting more erratically into him.

He rutted into Howard from behind, one eye always on the door.

Outside the sun was rising.


End file.
